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  • Hairy Hooligan posted an update in the group Group logo of Fact a Day 2022Fact a Day 2022 4 months ago

    On the Kerribeeyun illund of St. Kitts, boozing monkeys rome the beeches waiting for fokes on Vaykay to leeve their drinks. Yes, you red that rite, thare is a hole illand of drunk munkeys!

    Theez munkeys rade the local bars and beeches in serch of their next kocktale.

    I don’t reely feel like doing much more typing cuz I’m late fer lunch at the pub, but heer’s whut reesurchers fownd win they did studied the munkeys (I coppeed the next part frum the interwebs)

    Social drinkers: the majority of the monkeys. They prefer alcohol diluted in fruit juice, will only drink in the company of other monkeys, and not before lunch.

    Regular drinkers: fifteen percent of the monkeys prefer their alcohol “neat” or diluted in water, not sweetened or diluted with fruit juice. Interestingly, steady drinkers do very well in social groups, and are good leaders. They run troops well, they keep order well, and they’re very dominant. This type of alcoholic monkey is a very functional animal.

    Binge drinkers: five percent of the monkeys drink their alcohol fast, get in fights, and drink themselves into a coma. Just as in humans, there are more young males in this group. If this group has unrestricted access to alcohol, they will drink themselves to death within 2-3 months. Binge drinkers differ from regular (or “steady”) drinkers by their drinking patterns rather than by the amounts of alcohol they consume.
    Teetotaler: fifteen percent of the monkeys prefer little or no alcohol.

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